Titles are pretty much unnecessary, aren't they?
It's 7 am, and I am, at this time, smoking a cigarette, petting my kitty (no, not that one), waiting out an alcohol buzz that is slowly (but not slowly enough) dissipating, and awaiting my second one-hour session with my therapist, which I can't cancel this time, because I already did that last week. The Boy is asleep in the other room - when I left him in there, he was mumbling unintelligible sentences. One of the sleep-utterances I was actually able to understand was, "But death might hurt." Somehow I'm thinking we won't have to deal with that one anytime soon, though.It's been almost 19 months of "togetherness" by now, and this relationship is actually working out, which is something I'm happy about, yet still a bit unsettled by, because relationships are not typically something I'm good at...
I want to try to blog more often, now that I've identified my main roadblock. I've often been a very public person, and that ended when I became involved with The Boy, who is highly private about things that I wouldn't normally have qualms broadcasting to the rest of the civilized world. Whereas I have sometimes seen this relationship as repressive in certain minor ways, I'm lately thinking that it isn't. Most of the things I would want to write about, anyhow, are things from my past, since my present is pretty calm and uneventful. My past is MY past, and doesn't involve The Boy, and I don't feel I'd be hurting him by writing about things that are still affecting me from a time in my life that I've long since abandoned (though am open to revisiting, at least in the introspective "I want to blog about these things that once mattered to me and still fill up my head on occasion"sense)...
I feel it's time for me to start letting loose again. As I've said before, this was once an important outlet for me, which I think prompted me to evolve in many powerful and positive ways. I think I'm at a place now where I'm finally ready to let that evolution continue, and see where it takes me. And so...let the blogging commence. This time, I truly mean it...
posted by Layla/Jane (whichever you prefer) @ 5/22/2007 05:11:00 AM
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